


thoughts of you (when i know i shouldn't)

by cosmicfrownies



Series: you and i and our thoughts [1]
Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: (minimal spoilers), Azure Moon Route, Dedue is kinda putting himself down a bit in this, Dom/sub Undertones, Fantasizing, Light Angst, M/M, Masturbation, Pining, Post-Time Skip, Sexual Repression, Smut, mentions of bondage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-03
Updated: 2020-06-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:47:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24516379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmicfrownies/pseuds/cosmicfrownies
Summary: Dedue prides himself on his self-control and focus, however a certain freckled boy leaves his mind flooded with various thoughts. He attempts to rid himself of such thoughts and relieve stress.
Relationships: Ashe Duran | Ashe Ubert/Dedue Molinaro
Series: you and i and our thoughts [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1781362
Comments: 10
Kudos: 51





	thoughts of you (when i know i shouldn't)

**Author's Note:**

> There were no sexually-repressed, horny Dedue masturbation fics, so I wrote smut for the first time just to fix that. Yes, this is my first time writing smut, who'd've thunk? 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy a horny, pining Dedue.

Dedue let out a small sigh, inaudible to anybody but him. It wasn’t like him to sigh, but he had become rather disappointed in his lack of self-control as of late. Thoughts of a familiar silver-haired boy flooded his mind. Of course, nothing could distract him from his duties fully. He wouldn’t allow it. His Highness deserved the best and Dedue would provide it. Ashe, however, continued to pop into his mind whenever he pleased. 

Ashe had always been kind to Dedue. Ashe was kind to everybody. He had never judged Dedue for being a man of Duscur. Deduce had tried to warn the boy many times, there was just no reason for Ashe to be involved with a person. Yet, Ashe continued to spend time with Dedue, curious about his culture. He was insatiable, really. Though Dedue was much the same, just not in the matters of another boy’s culture… 

He tried to repress every thought that floated through his mind. Every time Ashe smiled, his cheeks would get just a bit flushed and Dedue found it adorable, not that he’d ever say so. He committed every smile to his memory, he couldn’t help it. Each word the boy said was committed to his memory as well. Dedue felt ashamed, coming back to those memories, reaching into the crevice of his mind that held information about Ashe. It was a treasured part of his mind. Though he really should value His Highness more, no? He should commit each word the prince said to his memory, not some freckled archer who he cooked with rather often. 

It was impossible though, truly. Dedue couldn’t stop himself. He prided himself on his self-control and his work, yet here he was, thinking about Ashe practically nonstop. His hair, it must have been so soft. Even after a battle, when Ashe was sweaty and had splatters of blood on his face, even when that all mixed together and his hair clung to his forehead, he still managed to look radiant. Dedue longed to run his fingers through the other boy’s hair. And his freckles. Dedue loved Ashe’s freckles. He had never encountered anybody with freckles in Duscur and even in Faerghus they were a rare occurrence. Dedue found himself shamefully thinking about what it would be like to plant kisses on each and every freckle on Ashe’s body. Though, truthfully, Dedue was only familiar with the freckles on Ashe’s face. 

He found himself wondering, where did the freckles end? Did they end? He wondered, would Ashe’s arms be covered in freckles? Surely they must have been and surely his arms were strong from all the archery he did. He knew Ashe’s arms were thin, but they were most likely packed densely with muscle. Such a lithe frame, yet so strong and beautiful, with spatters of freckles everywhere. Oh, how Dedue found himself fantasizing on nights like these. 

He lay down, letting himself get comfortable against his mattress. Times had been difficult as of late. They were in the midst of war, Dedue knew it was imperative to focus. Though, Dedue suffered from stress and hormones much like any other human being. Yet, as a teenager, he had been better about it. Most likely due to the fact that he hadn’t gone five years without seeing a certain boy who had captured his heart and had caused him to have such… impure thoughts. It wasn’t like Ashe could control it, no of course not, but Dedue, no matter how physically strong, did not have the will to resist his attraction. 

Everybody else had been tense as of late, the end of the war seemed to be near. Edelgard would soon be defeated. Just a few more battles. Dedue knew it would be wrong to express his feelings towards the other boy in the midst of it all. He didn’t want to overwhelm Ashe with his personal feelings. Ashe did not deserve that. Perhaps, once the war ended, but it was not the time at the moment. At the moment, it was merely the time to relieve himself of stress. He hated the feeling, really. It was so shameful. He was above it. He should have more control, really. 

That did not, however, stop him from reaching a hand beneath the waistband of his nightclothes and rubbing his length idly through his smallclothes. Dedue had rarely indulged in such pleasures, but a stress relief was much needed and perhaps it would bring him a sort of clarity that would allow him to focus until the war ended. 

His mind drifted back to Ashe and his freckles once again. Dedue imagined Ashe’s thighs, surely they were toned from riding horses for all this time. He wondered if they too, were painted with little spots. Dedue pulled down his pants and smallclothes and let his length lay against his abdomen. He stroked his cock gently. 

He had seen Ashe’s hands of course, they were much smaller than his own. They, too, had a few freckles on them, but not nearly as prominent as those on Ashe’s face. He imagined Ashe’s hand around his cock and couldn’t help but to let out a soft moan. How would Ashe sound when he moaned?

Ashe’s voice was wonderful. It was much higher-pitched than Dedue’s, but it suited Ashe. Such a cute voice for such a cute boy. He presumed Ashe’s voice would rival the Goddess’ voice in its beauty, though he didn’t know much about Fodlan religion. He imagined Ashe moaning his own name as Dedue stroked him. 

“Ashe,” Dedue let out, barely audible. He cursed in his native tongue. He felt his cheeks flush, but he was too deep into his arousal. Saying the other boy’s name out loud was crossing a line, Dedue felt. 

He wondered if Ashe liked anything in particular when it came to sex. Perhaps he liked to be tied up? It was a rather delicious image in Dedue’s imagination, Ashe, flushed, panting, silk ribbons binding his wrists and ankles, completely at Dedue’s will. Beautiful, sure, but Dedue wondered if Ashe would want to tie him up? Fantasy Ashe at least, the real Ashe would never return Dedue’s affections. 

Dedue let his mind wander. Him, at Ashe’s will, serving Ashe’s every need, bound by ropes. He wouldn’t mind such a thing, in fact he preferred it to his previous thoughts. He wondered what Ashe’s cock would taste like. What it would feel like in his mouth. Would Ashe cry out in pleasure as Dedue swirled his tongue against the tip? Would he tug on Dedue’s hair, desperate to orgasm?

Dedue picked up the pace, the familiar warmth pooling in his lower abdomen. Soon he’d reach his climax and soon he’d be ridded of these thoughts. There was no need really. His breathing was shallow and quick as he began to stroke his cock even faster, wanting to reach his climax. 

Would Ashe tease him? Keep him on the edge of his orgasm and needy? Would he prevent him from climaxing? Dedue would not mind waiting to orgasm for the sake of Ashe… He’d make sure the boy came first. The silver-haired boy’s pleasure would be his main responsibility. He wondered what Ashe’s face would look like as he orgasmed. He imagined Ashe’s eyes squinted shut as his back arched in absolute pleasure, his moans reverberating through the entire room. He imagined Ashe’s freckled abdomen covered in his own seed. Would Ashe do him the honor of allowing Dedue to release himself on Ashe as well? 

Dedue’s strokes were becoming more rapid and sloppy, he was so close. So close to his orgasm. All due to these impure thoughts. All because he couldn’t control himself. He was far gone though. He pumped his fist as fast as he possibly could with a firm grip around his cock. The slapping of skin against skin and his panting were the only sounds that could be heard throughout the room. 

He came with a grunt, clenching his free fist against the sheets. His seed spilling out of his cock onto his fist as a slow, viscous liquid. He panted as he rode himself through his orgasm, chest heaving and heart thumping against his chest. 

He cleaned himself up and dressed himself once again. He lay back down, basking in the lonely afterglow, hoping that he would regain his self-control and make it through the war alive.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Yes, I love the concept of serious, sexually-repressed dudes being hella horny and rubbing one out while shaming themselves. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this. Feel free to leave a comment or criticism on my smut-writing skills or whatever. Maybe I'll write something steamy again since I've finally done it. 
> 
> Come find me on tumblr @cosmicfrownies!


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